Fake
by Mar Mae
Summary: Marlene lived in the Wilds where she had friends, even male friends, until she was given a job to go in to Portland to find unknown resistors. But then things get twisted. Set prior to Delirium.
1. Aloneness

**"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."**

Mar was the little girl who ran around compounds, rough-housing with the other kids who tried to avoid her because they didn't want to play tag with her. _Marlene _is the tall, quiet, and stubborn grown up who kids look up to. I guess a lot changed. But the only things that really bugs me is the fact the the adults don't look up to me. They see me as a tiny suspect, just another ant in their huge, over-sized ant hill.

This is why I hate it here. Portland is just about the loneliest, most boring places I've ever been. I miss the Wilds more than anything. That's what they call home here. I can wrap this all up in to one sentence. Portland sucks. But eventually I'll be back home. My job is to find unnoticed resistance supporters. Of course we know a lot of them. There's no such thing as knowing everyone though.

I run into people a lot and hear other girls calling me clumsy and looking at my really funny when I accidentally bump into a boy. Apparently this isn't as interesting as it would be if I were uncured. Here, of course, I'm 'cured'. Those are the funniest looks, the ones where rumours are started. I don't find it weird though, being born in the Wilds makes me know that we know it's okay to be with boys, a choice of our own to fall in love. Here they teach the opposite.

I've never told anyone this, but I've always wanted to fall in love. I don't know if it's going to happen, though. There's one thing Portland taught me that is true. Love can kill you whether you have it or you don't. I'm afraid I'll never have it. I think it's out of my grasp. As I'm thinking about this, I've tripped over a boy's foot. Before I notice anything or come to my senses, I'm on my face on the sidewalk. I can feel blood trickling down my chin and on to the pavement.

I push myself up and find myself looking at a boy. A boy I know and it isn't illegal to know where we come from. It's Jacob. I keep my face neutral until I'm turning away and I feel the gossiper's eyes peel off of me. The interesting part is over and they're bored now. I send a wink over to Jacob who quickly returns it before we both head our separate ways, opposite directions, different sides, different houses, different genders. That's what matters here. If I'm supposed to fit in here I better start acting like I belong her to myself before I break.

**"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."**

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate Portland. I hate alone-ness. I want to go home. But this is for home. I want to go back. I want to laugh with Austin and Jacob and Louise and Chelsea all together and not in secret. Not illegally. But now, right now, I'm not with any of them, and I won't be for a while.

I heard about a concert and it sounded fun, I can't go. All I have to remember is just how close I am. I've been counting down the days until I go home since I got here. Today, I have twelve days left.

I was walking down the street, a cured sign behind my ears as my shoulder brushed another person's. I look back and see who it is. They do too. I see a cured mark behind his ear but still manage to see something right beside it. This becomes obvious. He's pretending. He's not cured. The doctors don't make mistakes like cutting the wrong place; he's part of the resistance and doesn't even go to a homestead.

I turn around and write in small letters on a notecard I carry around. I quickly scrawl "I know. You're safe w/ me. Meet at alley-cat. Bring bike." As I begin quickening my pace, I start jogging. As I pass by him, I quickly place the card in his sweater pocket. He knows, I can see his hand sliding in to his pocket to cover up. I continue running towards my temporary home.


	2. Dreams

**"I don't like to give up on people when they need someone not to give up on them."**

When I was fourteen, my friends and I used to go outside everyday and not tell our parents. We had a special place we liked to meet after school where we would just talk and laugh. There was nothing serious there, we made that a rule. But it's not like that anymore. That's what I think about when I take practically abandoned streets towards the alley with blue lights. This is where most of the Wild groups meet, we call it the Blue.

When I get there, I stand against one of the walls, focusing on the eerie blue street light that's stands crookedly. After a few minutes of standing, I heard footsteps. It wasn't just one pair, it was four or five. I pressed up against the wall and slowed my breathing. Even though I did this, I think they would be able to hear my drumming heartbeat. But as the come in to the alley, I recognise everyone one of them.

My face breaks into a smile and I start laughing quietly. It's Austin, Jacob, Louise and the boy I bumped in to. The boy has piercing green eyes that I hadn't noticed before. My eyes fly over them anyways. "You guys are kidding me, right? I swear my stomach almost came out of my mouth." I say with a large smile on my face.

"Nope, and that's a very nice image for me to picture." I smile at Louise and her sarcasm.

I slide down to sit against the wall, looking up at the three of them. "So why did everyone come? Did something happen?" I'm afraid now. Nothing an happen, if there isn't a home to go back to I'll have to stay here.

"No, calm down, wimp. Just get your stuff together. I got a letter, we're going home." Austin has just about made me cry. We're going home.

I gesture to the other boy. "And what about him?" Austin smiles at this.

"Meet Mr. Young, member of the DFA, undercover since he was eleven. His records were loss. Some careless guys at home must've lost them. I think it's time he goes home, though."

I nod and my smile grows. We're going home. No more sat you'd Portland. No more stupid anything. I could scream but that wouldn't be smart. "Alright, when are we going?" I say it over excitedly and get a weird look from Young.

I stand up and fold my arms as the wind picks up. I realise I didn't bother to bring a jacket, I didn't know it would be this cold.

"Tomorrow night we meet here. Wear dark clothes and only pack what you need, we can't look suspicious. We meet here at nine-thirty." I nod at Jacob's words. Young nods too, I think he knows how to get in and out, he just appears to be so serious. "Until then, Thomas stays with you." I sigh, aggravated.

"And where does he sleep? I have a house the size of a pin."

"Fine. Then I'll just have to come. I'll take your carpet, don't worry, Mar." I roll my eyes when Austin says this. I feel relieved when he says this, too, so I won't have a stranger sleeping by me. And after that, we all say goodbye and go to our temporary homes. Only one more day.

**"Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all is a form of planning."**

When I shut the door behind Austin and I, I head straight for the kitchen to get something to eat and drink. He follows me, it may be because he doesn't want to go to bed yet or maybe it's because he doesn't know his way around. When I take a sip of the orange juice from the bottle, he pushes all of the curtains shut and takes the bottle from me. Why didn't I expect this? Because I figured he would be a bit more respectful in my house. Guess not.

"So where am I sleeping?" I think before running in to my room and grabbing a couple blankets, pushing the picnic basket deeper under my bed. I throw the blankets down on my carpet in my couch-less living room. "Right here."

"Oh my gosh, you're kidding right? I thought I would at least get a couch."

"Shut up and go to bed." As I was passing him, his arm bumps against mine and I ignore it. But when I turn around to tell him good night, he's right behind me with a hand reaching out for my arm. I looked at him questioningly. It's a bit weird to have my best friend finding excuses to touch me. It's illegal here. I mentally try and tell him to stop, that we're going to get caught. But the curtains are drawn and I realise he's put a pillow against the door to muffle noises.

"Umm.." He stammers with his words. Then he raises his hand and brushes a strand of hair out of my face. I feel his hand stay there, on my cheek, for a couple seconds. Then it goes away, back to his side. I think I want his hand back there, on my face.

"Good night." I smile and shut the door with him still standing there, right outside. I can't hear him moving and I think he's still there.

"Night, Mar." I hear this a few minutes later. He was still at the door until I hear him walking back. Then everything goes silent and I'm dreaming.

_In a meadow, birds are chirping and flowers are bright colours all around me. It smells foul though. When I turn around, it smells like winter and keeping warm. It smells like Austin. And there he is, his hand on my cheek again. I feel surprisingly happy. _


	3. Records

**"Something in the way she moves attracts me like no other lover,**

** she woos me." -The Beatles**

I wake up at five in the morning when I can sleep in until nine. I can still remember my dream and can't get my mind off of it. I continue to tell myself Austin's my best friend, along with Louise and Jacob and everyone else back at home. But I've never dated. I know nothing about love or dating or whatever I should call it.

I stand up and the floorboards creek as I go over to my drawer. I grab the key from a pair of socks I never wear and open it. I take out a record from the drawer, I've got a record player back at home but I still love my record without listening to to it. On the front it read "The Beatles". I was told they were legendary.

"The Beatles?" I jump. I don't think anyone ever scared me that badly. I turn around quickly and frown.

"What the hell are you doing?! I didn't even heat you come in." We're whispering and he came in behind me.

I hear him laugh quietly behind me and he stands at my side, picking up another record in my drawer. "Didn't know you had these." He read through it.

"So, why are you up? Did I wake you up?" I asked, not bothering to look at him as I set the records back in the drawer, closing it and locking it.

"No, haven't really slept at all." He shrugged and his hand brushes against mine as we stand, looking out the window. "Hey, Mar?"

I smile at the name. "Yeah?" I answer back.

"You wanna go on an adventure?" I remember the first time he said that to me. We were in the third grade and he got in to my home. We jumped out of the window and went on a walk in the forest.

"Yeah, Aussie. Where to?"

"Come on." Surprisingly, his hand slides in to mine and we walk together our footsteps are quiet on the carpet, even though there are some squeaky spots. Austin leads me towards the living room with no couch and sits down. "You have a TV, get a remote."

I roll my eyes and reach for the remote, tossing it over to him. Once I do, I lean in to him and like to think I fit perfectly wrapped up in his arm. Quite an interesting couple. The muscular, girl-drool-over guy with the quiet and lanky girl sitting together.

He turns it to a channel with a marathon about 'The Dangers of the Deliria' We both laugh quietly together before I look up at him and he looks down at me. Cut the laughing. Cue the kiss.

This is illegal. This is wrong. This is warm and right and perfect. I let myself sit as close as possible to him. I'm not cold anymore. I'm warm and filled with millions and millions of butterflies that are almost choking me. I don't know when we stopped, I just know I fell asleep sometime, leaning against him at six in the morning.

**"Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue."**

When I wake up, the first thing I smell is winter and warm and happy. ThenI realise it's Austin I smell. It must sound so cheesy. Oh well. I smiled and stayed there, listening to silence. Austin was still asleep so I just kept my eyes closed. Just continued to stay comfortable and warm, which wasn't hard. I open my eyes and think of the perfect way to wake him up.

I sit up and cross my legs over with my feet touching his. I wriggle my toes and hold his hand. It doesn't feel wrong at all. This isn't wrong. This is right. I'm sure of it. If anyone wants to argue with me, I'm ready to prove them wrong. "Aussie." I whisper and go up to his ear. His eyes flash open and he firmly places a hand on my cheek. I almost fell over.

I was laughing and happy and having a great time. I leaned in to him and felt so warm inside again when my lips are against his. I know that's how I want to feel forever. Just those warm and cozy butterflies. But we're going home today and then this will all be allowed and safe. I can't wait. "Home." I mumble, squeezing his hand that I've still got hold of.

"We're going to go on an adventure aren't we, Mar?" I laugh and then I can't help but snort which gets Austin to start laughing.

Then the sirens start. Wailing and beeping. "_This is an intrusion. This is an intrusion. Stop moving and put your hands up immediately_."

I can't help myself. I ran in to my bedroom, grabbing the picnic basket along with a backpack of survival supplies. I grip Austin's hand and lead him out of the back door. We were out in the open and easy targets so I head for the forest. The forest hides the fence. The forest is safe. Safe is not something that describes our situation. I am horrified, Austin's scared, and we're both clueless. Oh crap.

We hit the forest running and I almost trip over a tree root before Austin keeps me up and running. We both know to go towards the fence that may be powered on by now. Who knows? I can't hear the buzzing once we're forty feet away and still can't hear it when we're closer. We go for it aNf climb like mad. The fence is shaking and chaos has risen everywhere. From the height I was at, I could see flashing lights, hear sirens, smell fire. _Fire_. That's when we both jump from the fence when we're twenty feet up.

We both don't land on our feet and have to get up, despite how much it hurts, and keep running. The only thoughts going through my head consist of what we're going to do to get to a homestead and that they won't chase us for much longer. We are almost there, so close. Just keep running, Marlene. I hear a gunshot from the distance and then a grunt beside me. I see blood on Austin's leg.

"Holy crap," I mumble, practically dragging Austin in to a more wooded area, almost crying. "Austin, you're okay. Don't stop moving. Remember, Aussie? We're on an adventure, you can't stop now just because of a tiny little scratch."

The things coming out of my mouth are completely different than what's going on in my head. This is no little scratch. This is a bullet hole, from a real gun, from a real gun that kills people. It won't kill Austin though. I'll die myself before I see that happen.


End file.
